ARTWORK & WORDS

Together ALLways

There is a special bond between mother and child. Perhaps it is because this is the first relationship we have ever had. For nine months, our world was only ‘her.’ And as we entered the brightness of a new world, to meet new faces and spirits, she was our link to life on earth. We are always connected to her, whether she gave us up for adoption, or kept us and did her best to meet our physical, emotional or mental needs. She, is the one, who carried us into this world.

 And, if we are blessed, the connection to ‘mom’ can surpass any limitations. We can find ourselves separated, by a continent’s girth, and she will phone, every Sunday, just to hear our voice. And then there are times when we discover ourselves lost, alone and scared, and we put on a brave mask, but she will see right through it, and ask if she can help. We find the link to her when we look at our bodies, other’s compliment a trait we have, or we hear her tone from our voice. And in times we need comfort, we will wrap her afghan around us and make our favorite ‘mom’ food.

 As time carries on, our mom’s will change. She will become more fragile, need more sleep, forget things, and not be able to fight off the illness that enters her body. During this time, we will have moments of sadness because we know that she will leave us.

 As in life there is death, and physically our cord will be broken from our mother. When this happens, we will no longer hear her voice, the pitter-patter of her feet, receive her kind words or hold her hand in ours. In this absence of the physical, our souls will never forget the last time she said, “I love you.” And we will find ourselves remembering her in the presence of certain colour, flower, gesture and song. And deep down we will know that she is happy where she is, because she can watch over us day and night, for as long as we live. You see, we are together in all ways, and for always.

Natured

I go outside. In moments, I am surrounded. The soft earth muffles my walk, the birds sing their sweet melody, and the tree's leaves provide a canopy over head. My breath becomes deeper and more true. I am here.

Wishing. Wanting. Needing.

Wishing. Wanting. Needing you close.

I close my eyes and find the embraceof us floating in a timeless void.

It's just us. Me. You. In this moment.

Feelings of being lost yet completely found, grip my being. You hold all of me. I am yours.

The Letting Go

I live in a prison, yet there are no bars or locks. The lock of imperfection and hurt contain me; it is my fears and doubts that confine me. The shackles of rejection and resistance repel the light.

I function from habit, hold on to outworn roles and bury my true feelings. My nourishment comes from pretense, guilt and longing.

Now… there is the pull of letting go. I see I have held on to something too long. It no longer serves me, but weighs me down. I’ve tried to hold on and patch it up. But then, I realized that the greatest gift I can give myself, the key to it all, is when I decide that I no longer want to hold this weight anymore. And I am willing to let go.

So, I find myself releasing my grip, breathing a sigh of relief and stepping out.

I find the hardest act is the decision to let go. But by connecting to my heart and by-passing my mind’s expectations of roles and “suppose to be’s,” I have come to see the truth about myself. So, I tell myself, “Let go of the fear. Follow the love,” and I become free.

Remembrance Day

It’s Remembrance Day and I think of war. I think of sacrifice and blood. And, I understand the tears and the feelings of loss.

I then remember the times I have been at war with myself. I have sabotaged myself with feelings of overwhelment, self-doubt and dissatisfaction. The war within becomes the war without. When I fail to listen, to heed and unlodge whatever seems to be stuck, I begin another day at war with myself; I am the enemy behind my own line. I keep fighting myself; the battle rages as my own thoughts pummel me down. I am my own worst enemy.

I bombard myself with killing missiles of negative self-talk and poor self care. There is no medic to rescue me. With my mind bashed, chest exposed and body bruised, it is only I who can save my broken being.

Why do I betray myself with my negative thoughts and lack of care? Why do I choose the pain and the slow death of spirit over peace and life? The judgments of right and wrong, good and bad, focus my energy on the separateness of my body and spirit.

There is no war if I refuse to take up my weapon. There is no war when there is love.

Procrastinator

I'll do it soon...er or late...er 

Procrastinator

Ms. Adventures of Ms. Burns 1 of 2

The Ms. Adventures of Ms. Burns... WARNING: Contains sexually explicit material and may cause females to re-evaluate their position with male appendages and their attachments.

Just call me Ms.; I admit, I have been wrong, acted less than whole and had ams.ible moments. My past relations with the opposite sex have been full of educational ms.haps. I've had my share of ms.behaviors, ms.givings, ms.handlings and ms.demeanours.

Ms.Adventures of Ms. Burns 2 of 2

I've made ms.takes and ms.calculations with ms.fits based on my ms.conceptions and Ms.understandings. My ms.conduct of body and heart have caused ms.chief, ms.nomers and ms.representations. My ms.cegenation has shocked some while I have suprised myself with the ms.anthropy my heart has experienced when wounded.

I find that my lust and love have made me a potent and effective ms.ile. I have lost myself and allowed myself to be ms.used and ms.cuntscrewed (I mean ms.construed.) One day, I know the aim of my amour won't be so hit or ms. in refininf and receptive relation between man and this woman. This woman named Ms. Burns. Could it be today?

More Similar than Different

I believe we are more similar than different.

Manifestation

What is it that I want deep down in the stillness? What makes my heart smile? What do I dream of being? Remember: The visible starts from within. My ability to feel and think moves the present. Do what needs to be done, then et go. Act when opportunities arise, then trust. Stop and look around: Nature's perfection surrounds me. The birds, lilies and grass shine in precision and beauty.Manifestation is guaranteed. 

Kaleidoscope

Kaleidoscope. My wounds and my healing.

Essence Overflow

Let your hair down.

Soundtracks.

Essence overflow.

Seasons of the soul.

Bloom

Belief

Beliefs have the ability to confine and restrict while give comfort.  There is a comfort in knowing something so completely.  In this world where pain, turbulence, chaos and changing winds seem like the norm of life, a belief that holds fast and true can give a person a sense of grounding.  Roots that go deep and entwine with others and the earth.  A sense of stability where the terrain seems hostile and uncertain of nutrients.

And yet this belief that makes us feel safe and sure can separate us from others and the joy that could be offered to us.  Beliefs can blind us to the possibilities and the options of growth and experience, because we can be so set in our way that just like the lines on the page, we see only one way to go.  When in reality, there is always a 360 degree option in all dimensions.

As much as our belief gives us a sense of knowing…A knowing of our direction…A knowing of our surroundings…A knowing of our place…

We forget that such knowledge of solidness can prevent movement and alterations.

This doctrine of the heart and mind can hurt others.  It isn't my perception and knowing that touches only my life; how I see my world and the world that surrounds me shifts my actions and words.  A belief gone too far has buried thousands before their time because….

Of the colour of their skin…Their religion…Their lack of one chromosome. 

 This marrow of intention and soul has altered other's views.  A belief has affected a community's inaction.  A belief has changed the sounds that surround us…

A tree's leaves blowing…The silence of fear…Laughter to tears.

How powerful is this simple idea.  This one thing, this abstract concept of the mind and heart, can become so concrete and rooted… and real.  What can be our guide when our beliefs can betray and cause so much harm?  It is our beliefs that drive us and give us meaning, but there is an alter ego to it all, as this belief has the same power to separate and instil fear.  As I see myself, so I must see others and ask, "Will the belief cause harm or not?" and go from there.  This is what I believe.

Offerings

Light. Communication. Creativity. Strength. Support. Joy. Energy. This is the story I am writing. Expression.

Being Woman (poor resolution)

Being woman...being me. The curve of my lips and hips define who I am. I move with fluidity and adjust to the changing winds. The roundness of my 

Winter Mountaintop

Silent crispness. Variant blues. Heaven and earth. Present now.

Underbrush 

Attitude 1 of 2

Have you ever tried? Nothing's impossible.Remember: "I think I can..." All it takes is Faith and trust. Oh, the places you'll go...

Attitude 2 of 2 

Here's my secret. It's very simple: You don't see well, except with your heart. What is essential is invisible to your eyes... You can either run from or learn from it. Everything can be taken from a man but the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's way. Choose your way.

A Walk on the Beach (print)

• Hold my hand, little one, and I will walk side by side with you.
• Today you look to me for all the security and assurance. I am your world and you are mine.
• Moments like this are to be cherished. There will come a day when you won’t want to hold my hand, for you will think you are too old for this gesture of love. But know this, the memory of your little hand in mine will always be --- and I will never let go of it.
• If you need: a shoulder to cry on… two strong arms… or a hand to hold, I will continually be here.
• Know that you will always be my little one and that I will always walk beside you

New Beginnings

Let go. Today is a day of new beginnings. Ride the crest. The stamp of individuality. Only you.

Expressing and Receiving

I am the joy of life, expressing and receiving.

This is Who I Am

I am the blackness. I sabotage myself. I see my enemy's reflection every day. The filling of emptiness overflows my being.

A-loneliness. Never ending lists of how much I fail at being me. Bandaged facades. Sick. Broken. Doubting despair. Twisting turmoil. Overstuffed.

I am complex...contradictions.Body betrayed. Heart cracked. Mind numbed. Dweller on the threshold.

Love Let Hers

The other day, I picked up a book called Other People’s Love Letters. The editor, Bill Shapiro of LIFE magazine, searched and edited this book into existence. Reading other people’s love letters seemed almost voyeuristic, but at the same time it was like peering into my own life. After the third love letter randomly read, in the bookstore, and becoming teary eyed, my friend Kendra said, “I think you need to buy this book.”

I confess, I’m a sucker for love. I LOVE love. I feel affection for seeing people in love… I cry at commercials that show acts of kindness… I savour the feelings of love… I give a touch of love ‘just because’…I think you get the point.

Needless to say, love letters have a special place in my heart! Over the years I have poured my heart out on various keyboards and paper, and I have had my affections returned (and sometimes… not). I have a folder entitled ‘kind words.’ This folder is divided into four sections: love letters from family, from ‘work,’ from friends and naturally, from lovers.

My latest journal entry is inspired by the above book, Other People’s Love Letters. From my folder, I tenderly pulled out my past lovers. As I reread their words of honesty, passion, love and tenderness, I cried. I cried because I have been loved. I have been loved, well…very well.

Below is the journal visual of some of the love letters I have received. There is a reason for everything in this work, but to tell you would take away from the love I feel from this piece. I call this work: Love Let Hers.

Express Your Joy

This was the first time Siri dressed herself. She was so excited, by this milestone, she ran to her mom and danced with joy.

Remember when we were young and how the excitement and pride overflowed from us, when we successfully completed something? Exuberance and joy spilled out of us. Our joy could not be contained. We would shriek with delight, flay our hands in the air, dance to the music of our souls and grin from ear to ear. And every person we came in contact with, would know of our great escapade.

Then there came a time when began to contain ourselves. We were informed it was important not to talk, laugh or express in a grandeur manner. So, we watched our words and monitored our exuberance; we made our feelings fit in a box so others would not be uncomfortable with our expansiveness.

We are adults now. And joy is not meant to be contained. Milestones, baby steps and anything that makes you smile, are to be celebrated. We are not put on this earth to play small. We are here to express ourselves fully. If you ask a child “When you are feeling happy, do you express it?” they will look at you funny, and say, “always.”

So, always express your joy. Feel it. Voice it. Always.

The Joy of It

I started skating when I was two years old. In the back lot, between the rows of houses, there was a dug out piece of earth that would be filled with water every October. The Winnipeg Winter would arrive and the frozen water would become my rink. 

The rink was only a hundred feet from my home. The number of shovels left behind with my last name on it, and the fact that my brother and I were always on the ice, it was known, in the neighborhood, as the “Burns’ Rink.” It also happened to be named that because my home was the place for the neighborhood kids to layer their clothes, warm up, tend to injuries and put on, and take off, their bladed shoes. My mom would position a kitchen chair, in the small back entrance, so one could tie up their skates (but it also created a protective barrier to the waxed kitchen floor). Often there was an overflow of friends, wanting to play on the ice, and they would sit on the stairs, heading down to our rec room, to tie their skates.

The winters were cold and the ice was hard. My eyelashes were hanging posts for icicles and my nose, ears, hands and feet were numb. And despite the freezing temperatures and clouded breath, my spirit ran fully on the ice (as well as my nose).

On the ice, time stood still and I would find myself in another world. And yet, the whoops of joy and sounds of competition were heard throughout the neighborhood as everyone battled for the imaginary prize. And if you were closer, you could hear the cut of an edge and the spray of shaved ice.

There were times when others had to go home (because it was dinner time or it was too cold outside), and I was alone on the ice. The rink was a place where I lost time, all my senses seemed alive and every emotion was fully felt. My actions were ruled by my intuition and not by rules. Every time on the ice, I challenged my skills and asked “what if…?” And it seemed like there were no boundaries, but only possibilities.

My body has changed as I have a growth on my spine. I miss the ice. I miss the ice a great deal. With all the emotions I experienced on the ice, one emotion tied this entire experience of time, space and sensation together, and it was joy. The lessons I learned on the ice, still carry me today. I know that I need to nurture whatever activity or pursuit that encourages me to feel at home, and that cheers me on to reach for my best. I truly believe we can change the world when we are, at home, in the joy of it.

There is Magic

There is magic in the knowing....as there is comfort and assurance of the next step on our path. The knowing of our abilities, of our strengths and our weaknesses can give rise to growth of our essence.

There is magic in the unknowing...as there is excitement and dreams of hope in the unwritten vastness. The knowing of choice, possibilities and summits can give rise to the progression of 'us.'

Allowing the unknown creep into the known and the knowing of the unknowning...there is magic.

Now Be Present

Allowing it to be. Living to be in the now and not to be defined by it.

Lying to You (original is crisper)

I have been lying to you. My exterior interactions tell you that I am solid, real and good, yet deep inside I feel that something is not right - and that something is wrong at the core of my being. There is a hole, a void, an absence that makes me feel alone and wounded. So I try to fill my cav                core to prove that I am whole. Then in my eyes, I won't feel like nothing, as I will appear as something to yours.

A bit Fuzzy

I'm feeling off and a bit fuzzy. There's a lot going through my brain. Thinking...Feeling...too much. Wishing the spinning world would hold still long enough for me to catch my breath. I'm wondering if I'm seeing things right.

Got Guilt?

Strengths Shine

Our strengths shine in our vulnerabilities.

Habits of Mine

My mind has shadows that come into light every now and again. Habits of mine that are habits of my mind become unearthed. Often these learned behaviors and tendencies start out good, true and innocent, but by their overuse I distort them and they begin to harm me. At times, my words and actions are ruled by control issues, conflict avoidance, low self-esteem, fear of success, apprehension of intimacy and dread of rejection.

For the habits of mine that no longer serve me, I have become aware of them and motivated to alter their routine.   Despite their comfortable feel against my body and soul, some have left me out at sea for starless nights of rolling seas, lightning and torrential winds. Even now, there are times when I think I am in and under control, yet with re-examination I realize that some still have power. So, I become disheartened as I find I am still drown-proofing my way to shore. But to be fair, the habits of mind may never be over.

The greatest achievement I can have is to see my own dysfunction. Becoming aware of how I have limited my best becoming, I can then make a conscious decision, take consistent actions and change these habits to become more positive and productive.

The mind is a powerful thing. A mind wasted is a life lost. So now, training the mind to focus on love, balance and respect is a solid habit on mine.

I'm Hungry

How often are you bored, or feeling 'off,' and instead of dealing with the reasons why you are 'off,' you ignore it and turn to other ways to fill the discontent you feel inside? I say,"Yep...been there...done that!" 

This is about being emotionally hungry  and trying to fill it by other means. We can fill ourselves with eating, drinking, having sex, trying to find pleasure, sleeping it away, and even striving to fulfill our dreams. Written on this piece I wrote, "This strong emotion of 'want' is often not a 'need.' I'm looking to be filled. Trying to fill the emptiness...a boredom...a self-hatred...a discontent that I feel inside."  

 It can all start from feeling out of sorts, or being not happy in the present moment, or even knowing 'something is missing' in our lives. From this point, we then try to satisfy ourselves with an object, person or activity that will temporarily quench our desire/want. I find this works, for a moment, or even moments (i.e. days/months/years), and then we see that this longing is truly something deeper.

I think it speaks a truth we often try to hide. What has helped me over the years is to see that I am a human and to err is human; to know that I have not always responded to my emptiness, boredom, self-hatred or discontent in the most positive way!  I have also come to know that I need to truly listen to my heart and be true to my deeper longings that I may be ignoring. 

 And then, with that said, eating, drinking, having sex, sleeping and meeting my goals are very pleasurable!!!! I now try to savour them, not out of a way to be filled, but to  enjoy them for the pleasures of life!

Holding Sway

• This spring , the wind has announced itself with whirling vortexes, chilling blusters and rattling knocks.
• what movement awaits me? What windows need opening to help the natural flow of progression?
• The winds of change surround my house; I hold sway.

Brave New Girl

The world seems to be broken; people act bruised and make fractured decisions.  And yet, I have hope.  I believe love is powerful and I believe that people can change and grow.

Here I am, once more, a brave new girl presenting myself.  Learning from my past, my pain and my follies.  Being brave in… seeking more… following growth… trying again… wanting to be the difference the world needs.

It is written, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."  So, I tell myself, 'Focus on the love…' and my sense of destiny will be with me wherever I go.

Bended and Bowed

I raise myself to be. I have nothing to give but my tears, sighs and silent questions. I let go...

Transitions 1 of 2 

It never stops. Those moments of transitions and shifts. So.... What makes my eyes glisten with joy? My voice rise in song? My hands reach oout with tenderness? My ears listen for love? And my breath take in peace? A new possibility, adventure and life is waiting my participation.

Transition 2 of 2

Reflect. Embrace the change.

Two Brothers (SOLD)

(unable to find the Words in this ArtWork and Words)

My Little Child (SOLD)

Today, memories are recounted. I show my parents this drawing of a two year old girl called…me. Their eyes light up and smiles spread on their lips. I know they like the drawing, but I recognize it is the subject matter they are responding to.

I ask them to tell me about this little child; to remind me of the stories of “who is she?” 

“You were quiet, but responsive to others… You had the tendency to observe people and situations first, and then participate… You were always sensitive and aware of others, yet you were direct and determined when you wanted something… You liked being by yourself and you were affectionate and loving with those you knew.”

 As funny as this sounds, I almost think they are describing me now. It occurs to me that who I was, is who I am today. The essence of my personality is still intact despite a lifetime of victories and bumps on the playground of existence. There are facets that have changed over my life as I have experienced, learned and grown. Yet “who she is” remains unbroken.

So, I encourage you to delve into your past. Ask those who remember you, my little child. You will find that you are still all that you were, and more.

And, just to note, I still love to swing!

The Touching of Lives (SOLD)

The Words for this ArtWork & Words are missing at this time

Wildflowers (SOLD)

The Words for this ArtWork & Words can not be found/

Limitless (SOLD)

Words cannot be found for this ArtWork & Words due to change in program